My song

I’m out of breath, kneeling on the shores of this sea that stretches endlessly before me with the enemy right behind me, ready to attack. Heart beating so frantic that my chest feels about ready to crack open. Ears ringing from the sound of the waves and armour. I’m ready to panic any moment now, but I still hear a whisper through all the chaos, “steady, child!”

Lord, You know every step I took to bring me this far. Steady my feet, steady my heart, steady my faith. I know You can split the sea in front of me and I could walk right through… then I’d sing like Miriam… But I don’t have enough faith or vision to see myself on the other side yet. If the sea will split, it won’t because I believed it into splitting, it will be because you chose to. All I know, Lord, is that whether the sea will split or not, You’re still my God, my King, my all. So just in case I don’t make it to the other side, this is the song I’ll sing You this side of the unsplit sea.

 

My heart is split in two.

What the maidservant could not see by the water

Like a storm from the sea, it pounds

Like Miriam's timbrel, it beats.

And there is no cure in the world.

 

My heart surrenders

Stumbles, can no longer stand on its feet

Just a wreck with no purpose

And the sky is like a wall to me

How can I pass through the sea on dry ground

 

And only You can turn my mourning into dancing

To purify the sand

To soften all in me

And only You know how to approach my heart

You lessen any pain within me

You heal my heart

 

My heart is split in two

Half of it is guilty, and half of it is for the sake of Heaven

Like a storm from the sea, it pounds

Like Miriam's timbrel, it beats

And there is no cure in the world for the heart

 

And only You can turn my mourning into dancing

To purify the sand

To soften all in me

And only You know how to approach my heart

You lessen any pain within me

You heal my heart

 

And there is still a foe who bothers the flock

And there is no envoy who would scream for God

Only I before a whole sea, and a broken heart

 

And only You can turn my mourning into dancing

To purify the sand

To soften all in me

And only You know how to approach my heart

You lessen any pain within me

You heal my heart

 

And only You can turn my mourning into dancing

To purify the sand

To sanctify all in me

And only You know how to approach my heart

You lessen any pain within me

You heal my heart

Remembering

Mind bloated with too many thoughts,

Perspective and reason are lost…

Looking for normalcy while the snake plots

I’ve began building without counting the cost.

 

My eyes are failing, lend me Your gaze,

Lend me Your strength, my hands are trembling,

Remember the length of my days,

Lend me your thoughts, mine are transgressing…

 

Remember me according to Your kindness, not my faults,

You know I’m flawed and greedy for Your kindness.

I’m scared and hidden bits of me in vaults,

Selfishly trying to save myself from total blindness.

 

I forgot to remember You’re faithful until the end,

That You begin and don’t stop until You finish,

That You give me more grace than I can ever spend,

Regardless how darkness expands, Your light doesn’t diminish.

 

Though the mountains may depart, and the hills be removed,

Your covenant of peace will stand for those fighting Your wars,

You’ll never break off a reed that is bruised,

Regardless the odds, You win on behalf of those that are Yours.

 

I want to bargain with You and promise You a thousand things,

Selfishly wanting You to do my will, relief I cajole,

Forgetting You’re the One holding my strings,

That I know and see in part while You see the whole.

 

I’ll submit to Your will, this time not grudgingly,

I’ll trust the love that brought me this far,

I won’t twist Your words like the snake, cunningly,

I’ll give this time to heal and turn into a scar.

 by Cristina Pop

Storm

Undress my words of any selfish meaning,

And leave them bare, trembling and raw.

Don’t be persuaded even by their feeling,

Act because You’re kind, Your goodness is law.

 

I’m out of tune - all my notes in discord,

My spirit is all bones and skin,

I’m using faith I can’t afford,

Rescue me now for I’m Your kin!

 

Waiting for You makes me look like a fool,

Let them be reasonable with all their facts!

I’m daft enough to use their stones as fuel,

Distrusting the ‘wisdom’ the enemy enacts.

 

Let them be loud, I’ve learned Your voice,

I don’t have much, but I have hope,

Stop enumerating options, I know my choice,

Laugh away while in darkness for my God I grope.

 

My heart is strong, Lord, You’ve built it with Your hands.

I might not walk out of this storm intact,

But that which You make always stands,

I don’t know much, but that’s a fact.

 by Cristina Pop