Stay!

 

Alfa –

                      by Costache Ioanid

Alpha

 

Când Adam, în clipa cea deplină, 

 When Adam, at the right time
ochii de ţărâna şi-a deschis, 

From the dust his eyes opened,
a văzut un Om... într-o grădină...

He saw a Man… in a garden…
l-a văzut pe Alfa în lumină,

He saw Alpha in His light,
pe ISUS în scâteiri de vis.

Jesus, in glimpses of a dream.

Şi era grădina ca o carte...

And the garden was like a book…
Pomul cel de viaţă... pomul cel de moarte...

The tree of life… the tree of death….
Trandafiri de sânge... crini de rugăciuni.

Roses of blood… lilies of prayers.

Iar când umbre-albastre se lăsară

And when the blueish shadows dawned
peste taina ultimului ram,

Over the secret of the last branch
înălţându-se în liniştea de seară,

Ascending from the silence of the evening,
Prinţul sfânt Se despărţi de-Adam.

The Holy Prince separated from Adam.

Dar... urcând în zarea albăstruie,

But… rising on the blue horizon,
Alfa, chipul dragostei dintâi

Alpha, the face of the first love
aştepta ca primul om să-i spuie

Was waiting for the first man to say to Him
un cuvânt... doar un cuvant: "RĂMÂI!"...

A word…only a word: “STAY!”…

Au trecut pe urmă ani de-nfrângeri.

Then, many years of defeats passed.
Şi-ntr-o zi, la Mamre, sub stejari rotaţi,

And one day, at Mamre, underneath the oaks,
Avraam văzu pe Alfa între îngeri.

Abraham saw Alpha among the angels.
- Domnul meu, e greu prin soare să străbaţi.

“My Lord, it is hard for You to walk through this sun.
Tălpile în pietre ai să-Ţi sângeri.

Your feet will bleed.”
Şi uitând Avraam povara bătrâneţii,

And Abraham, forgetting the burden of his age,
a pornit cu robii şi-a ales un junc.

Went with his servants and got a calf.
Iar când isprăviră de prânzit drumeţii,

And when they finished eating,
spre bătrân Se-ntoarse Prinţul vieţii:

The Prince of life turned to the old man:
- Sara, pân' la anul, vei avea un prunc!

“Sara will have a son in a year!”

Şi ISUS dădu să plece spre Sodoma,

And JESUS started walking towards Sodom,
murmurând: - Voi arde tot ce-i putred, tot!

Whispering, “I’ll burn all that’s rotten, all!”
Vântul prin fâneţe răscolea aroma...

The wind was stirring through the fields their smell…
Iar Avraam, bătrânul, se gândea la Lot...

As Abraham, the old man, was thinking of Lot…
- Doamne, nici o făptură ochiul Tău n-o pierde.

“Lord Your eye doesn’t lose sight of any being
Sângele din uliţi trebuie să-l răzbuni.

The blood in the streets You must revenge.
Dar să arzi şi vreascul şi copacul verde?...

But will You burn together the dry wood with the green tree?...
Poate sunt acolo zece oameni buni...

Maybe there are ten good people there …”
- Iată, fu răspunsul, îngerii vor trece.

“Behold”, was the answer, “the angels will pass,
De vor fi buni zece, Eu Mă voi abate,

And if there will be there ten good people, I will stay My hand,
voi cruţa cetatea pentru-aceştia zece!

I will spare the city for these ten!”
Şi-a simţit Avraam în piept o plinătate,

And Abraham felt in his chest a fullness,
a simţit c-avea un frate-DUMNEZEU.

He felt he had a brother in GOD.

Dar ISUS, mergând către cetate,

But Jesus walking towards the city,
paşii-ncetinindu-Şi... aştepta mereu...

He slowed His steps… waiting, always waiting…
O, ce mult dorea El, nu lumeşti bucate,

Oh, how He desired, not worldly delights,
nu slujiri, nici fumul unei dulci tămâi.

Not obeyances, nor the smoke of incense.
Ci El, Prinţul Slavei, "Dumnezeu şi frate",

But He, The Prince of Glory, “God and brother”,
pentru-atâtea daruri binecuvântate,

For all the heavenly blessings He bestowed,
aştepta o şoaptă, un cuvânt:"Rămâi!"...

Was waiting for a whisper, a word, “Stay!”…

Prin Iaboc trecură Leea şi Rahela.

After Leah and Rachel have crossed the river,
Iacov, copleşit de frica lui Edom,

Jacob, overcome with fear of Edom,
se ruga în taină. Şi în ceasu-acela,

Was praying in secret. And that very hour,
i-apăru sub ramuri de lămâi... un OM...

Suddenly appeared to him under the trees… a MAN…
I-apăru un înger cu cereşti veşminte.

An angel in heavenly robes.
Şi-L cuprinse Iacov ca pe-un vis din Rai.

And Jacob grabbed Him like a dream from Eden,
- Nu Te las, Stăpâne, până cănd nu-mi dai

“I won’t let go of You, Master, until you give me
binecuvantarea cerurilor sfinte!

The blessing of the holy heavens!”

Stelele pe boltă lunecau în vale,

The stars were slipping on their path in the valley,
urmărind pe Alfa în strâmtoare prins...

Watching Alpha caught in this embrace…
Iar când astrul zilei sângera-n zăbale,

And when the morning star was bleeding daylight,
Prinţul cel de taină Se lăsa învins,

The mystery Prince allowed Himself to be overcome,
aşezand pe Iacov mâini sacerdotale...

Laying priestly hands on Jacob…

Şi-a plecat ISUS încet, cum apăruse,

And Jesus left slowly, as He appeared,
aşteptând ca Iacov, de sub albi lămâi,

Waiting that Jacob, from underneath the trees,  
după ce primise darul care-l vruse,

After receiving the gift he had asked for,
să-L oprească şi pe Cel ce i-l dăduse,

To stop Him, The One that gave the gift,
cu un semn, cu-o şoaptă, c-un cuvânt: "Rămâi!"...

With a sign, with a whisper, with a word, “Stay!”…

Şi trecură iarăşi anii peste lume

Again, years passed over the world,
pân' să crească holda şi să dea în pârg.

Until the crop was grown and ready for harvest.
Iar cândva trei oameni se urcau cu sârg

And sometime three men were climbing
însoţind pe Alfa undeva, pe-o culme.

Together with Alpha, somewhere on a top.

Şi deodată... Doamne, peste muchii crunte,

And suddenly… Lord, over harsh cliffs,
nouri de lumină au venit de sus,

Clouds of light appeared from on high,
ca un miez de soare pe smerita frunte,

Like a sun core over the humble forehead,
pe vesmântul alb al blândului ISUS.

Over the white garments of gentle Jesus.

Se părea că Raiul iarăşi se aşterne,

It looked as if again Eden is restored,
cu oştiri de îngeri... într-un sfânt colind.

With hosts of angels… in a holy song.
Moise şi Ilie, lângă El venind,

Moses and Elijah came and sat beside Him,
ascultau cuvântul dragostei eterne.

And were listening to the word of the eternal love.

Şi-atunci Simon Petru, om de căpătâi,

And then Simon Peter, first among his peers
s-a-nălţat deodată în sclipirea dalbă

Rose in all that shining whiteness
şi-a rostit cuvântul... (El l-a spus întâi!)

And said the word… (he said it first)
- O, rămâi, IESUA, bine-i să rămâi!...

“Oh, Stay, Yeshua, it is good to stay!
Şi-am să fac aicea trei colibi degrabă!

And I will build here three shelters immediately!”

Spre Emaus, iată, trei bărbaşi mergeau,

On the way to Emmaus, behold three men walking,
cu suspine-amare, cu vorbiri ciudate.

With anguished sighs, with strange speech.
- Ce-s aceste vorbe între voi schimbate?

“What are these words you exchange between you?”
i-a-ntrebat. Dar cine-i? Vai! ei nu ştiau!

They were asked. But who is this? Oh, they didn’t know!

- Tu eşti singur oare în Ierusalim

“Are you the only man in Jerusalem
ce nu ştii necazul zilelor acestea?

That doesn’t know about the calamity of these days?”
Şi mergând alături, îi dădură vestea

And walking together, they shared the news,
despre-acel ISUS, MELEK ha IEHUDIM.

About that Yeshua, Melech Ha Yehudim (Jesus, King of the Jews).

- Noi trăgeam nădejde, domnule, că El,

“Sir, we were hoping that He,
Prooroc înalt în fapte şi cuvinte,

Highly esteemed prophet in words and deeds,
va aduce iarăşi slava-n Israel.

Will restore the glory of Israel.”

Şi-a-nceput străinul: - Oameni grei la minte,

And the stranger started: “Foolish men,
inimi de zăbavă, neam întârziat,

Slow hearts, people slow of understanding,
fără Jertfa scrisă-n sulurile sfinte,

Without the Offering written in the holy scrolls,
v-ar fi dat salvare Unsul aşteptat?

Would have the Anointed One been able to give you salvation?
N-aţi citit Geneza?

Have you not read Genesis?
Pe Moria, oare,

On mount Moriah, isn’t it so,
n-a venit să moară un berbec ascuns?

That a hidden ram came to die?
În Exod ce-nseamnă Mielul cel străpuns

In Exodus, what does the sacrificed Lamb mean?
şi-n Levitic Jertfa înlocuitoare?

And in Leviticus, the substituting Sacrifice?
Ce-i în cartea Numeri stânca cea lovită?

What’s in the book of Numbers the rock that has been hit?

Şi acel prooroc din Deuteronom?

Who is the prophet in Deuteronomy?
Nu plângea în David Dumnezeul-Om

Wasn’t the one crying through David, the God-Man?
şi-n Isaia oaia mută şi smerită?

What about in Isaiah, the humble and mute sheep?
Dar voi toţi aceia ce I-aţi fost cununa

What about all you who have been His crown,
n-aţi simţit puterea din Cuvântul viu,

Have you not felt the power of the living Word,
când Rabinul vostru biruia furtuna?

When, your Rabbi, was defeating the storm?
Când ieşea în giulgiu Lazăr din sicriu?

When Lazarus came out of his tomb all wrapped up?
Voi toţi, ucenicii Omului durerii,

All you, disciples of the Man of suffering,
voi ce L-aţi lăsat să fie prins şi dus,

You who allowed Him to be caught and taken,
voi care-aţi privit mărirea Lui ISUS,

You who watched the glory of JESUS,
cum de vă-ndoiţi de gloria-nvierii?

Now you doubt the glory of resurrection?

Ascultau cei doi mustrarea cea tăioasă

The two were listening to the harsh rebuke,
ce turna un foc în inima lor rece.

That was pouring fire in their cold hearts.
Dar trecuse vremea, vai! erau acasă

But the time had passed and oh, they arrived home
şi "străinul" parcă se grăbea să plece.

And “the stranger” seemed like in a hurry to leave.

Şi atunci din nou dorita primăvară

So then again, the desired spring
şi-a rostit cuvântul dragostei dintâi.

Spoke the word of first love,
- O, rămâi cu noi căci vremea e spre seară.

“Oh, stay! Stay with us because it’s evening
Ziua e trecută. Vin' la noi... RĂMÂI!...

The day has passed. Come with us… STAY!”

A trecut apoi peste Chedron o ceaţă.

Then a fog passed over Kidron,
Unsprezece Iacovi se luptau acum!

Eleven Jacobs were fighting now!
Cum să-ntorci privirea şi să pleci la drum

How to look away and start on your way?
cum să laşi atâta dragoste curată?

How to abandon so much pure love?
Pentru cea din urmă binecuvântare,

For one last blessing
mâinile străpunse Alfa Şi Le-a-ntins

Pierced hands, Alpha lifted
Si deodată... uite... parcă S-a desprins...

And suddenly … look… it’s like He slipped away…
Da. Se-nalţă. Urcă, dar plângând... în zare.

Yes. He’s ascending. Higher, but crying… in the distance.

Căci privind de sus pe cei legaţi de Sine

For as He watched from high for those tied to Himself,
cu eternul semn din mâini şi din călcâi,

With the eternal sign in His hands and His heel,
El citea-n toţi ochii aceleaşi dulci suspine:

He could read in all eyes the same sweet sighs:
- O, RĂMÂI, RABUNI! IEŞUA... RĂMÂI!...

“OH, STAY RABBI! YESHUA, STAY!”…

Răsunaţi în nouri, trâmbiţe de-aramă!

Resound from the clouds, trumpets of bronze!
Vino, MIRE tainic, din cereşti poteci!

Come, mysterious GROOM, from the heavenly paths!
Şapte continente zi de zi Te cheamă!

Seven continents every day call on You!
Vino, PRINŢ al SLAVEI!, DRAGOSTE DE VECI!

Come, PRINCE OF GLORY! ETERNAL LOVE!

AMIN

Amen

 

Alfa- by Costache Ioanid

 

I have nothing to offer You, Lord, my God and King. Nothing that wasn’t given to me by You. Whether things, feelings, thoughts… tears. Even me wanting Your return, sometimes feels like that’s Your yearning and I only feel ripples of Your feelings and I imagine them to be my own.

You know all things, Lord. You know my heart inside out and none of my thoughts are hidden from You, so You know I acknowledge that I have nothing Lord… but stay! In this nothing that I have to offer, stay! Help me create a pleasant place for You to dwell in… and stay! Until the very end, Lord, stay! 

Cristina Pop

Merry Christmas!

 ”There shall come forth a shoot from the stump of Jesse, and a branch from his roots shall bear fruit.” (Isaiah 11:1)

That’s a promise for God’s Salvation, Yeshua – Jesus. It’s a promise God made when there was no hope. And God made good on His promise, as He always does.

Christmas is a time of joy for all followers of Christ and it’s a reminder that God’s promises are true, no matter how hopeless the situation or how thick the darkness might be.

The same God that has sent His Son into this world to be born of a woman, to live like a human and die a most cruel death just to reconcile us to Himself, will stop at nothing for our sake.

My fellow soldiers in Christ, I pray God will continue to build you up in faith and grace. If you’re anything like me, then you’ve won some battles and you’ve lost some this year. Some of you are fighting as we speak… may God grant you victory. Do not lose heart, no matter how hard it seems. The enemy has no pity on your poor exhausted soul. So, sharpen your sword, be ready and above all, trust! Trust that our King is returning. Trust that just as God has promised The King to be born to us, He also promised to never leave us alone and that He shall return. It might look like our hope has been cut down, but out of a stump our Salvation came the first time, His return will seem even more impossible. But take heart, The King IS coming and all those that have served Him faithfully will see a reward for their toil. Be brave, you’re not alone. The enemy wants you to think that, but he’s a liar. You have defeated him because The One inside You has defeated him on Calvary. Fight the good fight, encourage other soldiers and never stop. Our King is coming. Immanuel! God is with us!

Merry, blessed Christmas! 

With gratitude, Cristina Pop

Master and slave

I woke up this morning with this poem in mind:

Waiting

 My God and King, remember that I am dust. All that I am is before Your Holy eyes. My heart stutters inside me as it fights my mind. I grasp at every word You have said, and I believe. My Lord, I believe, help my unbelief. Look with kindness upon my weaknesses.  

It feels like a war rising against me and I spoke boldly in my time of peace. I have made loud declarations about how I will stand and fight because You train my hands for war. I have bragged about my courage. I have told others how to fight and now Lord, I am afraid. Forgive Your daughter’s cowardice. “When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant I was a brute beast before You. Yet I am always with You; You hold me by my right hand. 
 You guide me with Your counsel, and afterward You will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Ps 73:21-26)  

I do not waver in my faith. I know in Whom I have placed my trust. I am just afraid. Do not let me put to shame. Redeemer of my tears, strengthen my heart. Do not allow me to dishonour You. Remember I have walked faithfully in Your sight all my life. Do not allow my steps to falter now. Do not allow my hands to drop the sword. Just say a word and my soul will be uplifted. No, not even a word, a thought will do. A glance... I am Yours, “LORD Almighty, may those who hope in You not be disgraced because of me; God of Israel, may those who seek You not be put to shame because of me.” (Ps 69:6) 

I will fight, my King. I just need You to know I acknowledge that I am scared and unless You fight for me, this battle will be lost. Even as I say that I will not be another king Saul who got so scared that he broke Your will just to get help (1 Sam. 13). I am scared but not that scared.  

Plant my feet into Rock just do not let me run even if I am tempted to. You have fought greater battles than mine and won them all. So, I will wait for You, Lord. Just do not let my trembling offend Your Holy eyes. I hope in You, may Your will be done. 

 

by Cristina Pop 

For Your sake

I was looking through some Romanian Christian poems. I do that when I miss my mother. I try to remember her voice reciting poems or singing songs. One of her favorite authors was Costache Ioanid, so I have decided to translate, very poorly, one of his poems. 

 

                 De dragul Tău          For Your sake

             de Costache Ioanid           by Costache Ioanid

 

Ce dor frumos, ce Rai ne leagă!   What beautiful yearning, what Heaven binds us! 
Eu cânt cu lacrimi, Tu le-alini  I sing with tears, You wipe them away,  
De dragul Tău mi-e lumea dragă, For your sake the world is dear to me, 

că-n ea Te văd și-n flori și-n spini.  For in it I see You both in flowers and thorns. 

În crinii albi Ți-e sărutarea,  The white lilies hide Your kiss, 
în maci văd sânge pe Calvar. In poppies I see the blood of Calvary. 
De dragul Tău mi-e dragă marea  For Your sake I love the sea 
și cerul fără de hotar!                    And the limitless sky! 

În bulgări reci Te văd cum sameni  In cold lumps of dirt I see You sowing, 
și-n spini văd pașii sângerați.          And in the thorns I see Your bloodied steps.  
De dragul Tău iubesc pe oameni;    For Your sake I love people; 
azi sunt străini, mâini, poate frați!   Today's strangers, tomorrow might be brothers!

Când turme trec ducându-și dorul    When flocks pass by carrying their yearnings  
și spune-un fluier: "Sunt cu voi!"     And a flute is saying, ‘I’m with you!’
de dragul Tău mi-e drag păstorul      For Your sake I love the shepherd, 
ce-și pune pieptul pentru oi!             That bares his breast out for the sheep! 

În cei aleși Îți văd iubirea,               In the elect ones I see Your love, 
cu ei cântându-Ți psalmi în văi...   Singing You Psalms with them in valleys, 
De dragul Tău le sorb privirea;       For Your sake I drink in their eyes,
pe-obrajii lor, sărut pe-ai Tăi!        And I kiss their cheeks imagining they’re Yours! 

Și cât mi-e dat să nu-Ți văd fața,    And when it’s my lot not to see Your face, 
dorit de stele ca un mag,                 Desired by the stars as a wise man,  
de dragul Tău mi-e dragă viața,     For Your sake I love life, 
și moartea nu-i decât un prag...      And death is nothing but a threshold ... 

The Word

 I wrote this back in 2016. You can find the article here.

” In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” – John 1:1

This Saturday I was watching this experiment designed to show the way a human brain functions when it comes to reading words. I’m not sure to what extent that works in all languages, but in English, if you keep the first and the last letter of every word, regardless of how you mix the letters inside, it will allow the mind to actually make sense of the words, or interpret every word it reads.

As I was watching this, it came to mind the fact that Yeshua said He is the Alpha and Omega (A Ω  first and last letters of the Greek alphabet), or Alef and Tav, ( א  ת first and last letters of the Hebrew alphabet). I understood that whether it’s a word, a concept, an idea or a theory, if it begins and ends with Yeshua, then things make sense even if they seem chaotic inside.

Many times I struggle to utter the right idea concerning a concept that I think I grasped about Adonai and I am not always successful to get everything exactly right every time and as I grow I see that I’ve misplaced one letter, still I know that if I keep the first and last letter in place, it makes sense. I may be misspelling in every single language that I try to write in and sometimes I’m convinced that that’s how it’s spelled, but even when I’m wrong, whoever wants to understand, understands. Sometimes I may not be able to express every thought or concept in a flawless theology, but if He is the beginning and the end of every word, then it can be understood even if it needs a spell check.

I thought about Yov (Job) and how he began with every word spelled exactly ‘right’, metaphorically speaking. Everything made sense. Things were simple. He had only one theory guiding him: If you are a righteous man and try to do good and if you fear HaShem (God) and seek to do His will, then the result can only be good; you have nothing to fear because no evil shall befall you and no harm will come to you and yours. Simple. Until all the horrendous things happened to him and his family and all that was left of his theory was a pile of jumbled letters. And it took him a while to make sense of it all. When I read about how he had sat and analysed everything, it almost seems like he was trying to put back together a puzzle that has been scattered by the wind everywhere. If you’re trying to solve a puzzle you first have to find all the outer pieces, those that make out the perimeter of the puzzle, those that define its limits.

If you try to define a certain situation when the accuser keeps asking, ‘where is your God? And if He is, doesn’t He care that you’re about to perish?’, then you have to start with the Beginning and finish with the End, as retarded as that sounds. Every explanation that you want to give yourself must start with Yeshua and end with Him, otherwise nothing will make sense.

There are high chances that maybe you won’t reach the right conclusion concerning the ‘why?’, but as long as your thought ends with ‘even so, He is still my God’, then you have nothing to worry about.

Sometimes it so happens that everything you know about Him is tested. And it happens that you end up with a lot of your theories either dead or crippled, but as long as you keep the first and the last letter in place, it’s OK, breathe!

Just because all your letters are jumbled, it doesn’t mean it’s unintelligible. It only means that you’re about to find out that Adonai gave you the strength and wisdom to read situations as if they’re spelled right and that’s because He has placed Himself and the beginning and the end of every word. 

Bat Melech בת מלך

 Cristina כריסטינה

Vessels of gold

 I started listening to, The History of the Church of Christ, Century 3, by Joseph Milner. I highly recommend the book. It is well written and the author's commentaries that accompany each character he deals with, are instructive. Although he is moralistic at times, which is not the best trait in a historian, he was also a Christian which entitled him to his remarks that will enrich one's understanding of the subject at hand.
Anyway, this is not a book review. The reason for writing this blog entry is this quote, found in the beginning of chapter 16:

“It has been already mentioned that Cyprian heard about the death of Sixtus, Bishop of Rome, a little before his own martyrdom. In pursuance of the cruel orders of Valerian for carrying on the persecution, he had been seized with some of his clergy. While they were carrying him to the execution, Laurentius, his chief deacon followed him weeping and said, 'Wherest thou goeth father without thy son?' Sixtus said, 'You shall follow me in three days.'
We may suppose him to have been possessed with the spirit of prophecy in saying this because we are certain that miraculous gifts were of by no means extinct in the Church but perhaps the declaration was not out of the reach of common sagacity from the circumstances of affairs.
After Sixtus' death the prefect of Rome, moved by an idle report of the immense riches of the Roman Church, sent for Laurentius and ordered him to deliver them up. Laurentius replied, 'Give me a little time to set everything in order and to take account of each particular.' the prefect granted him three days time. In that time Laurentius collected all the poor who were supported by the Roman Church and going to the prefect said, 'Come behold the riches of our God! You shall see a large court full of golden vessels!' The prefect followed him but seeing all the poor people, turned to Laurentius with looks full of anger. 'What are you displeased at?' said the martyr, 'The gold you so eagerly desire is but a vile metal taken out of the earth and serves as an incitement to all sorts of crimes. The true gold is the Light, whose disciples these poor men are. The misery of their body is an advantage to their souls. Sin is the true disease. The great ones of the earth are truly poor and contemptible. These are the treasures which I promised you to which I will add precious stones. Behold these virgins and widows, they are the Church's crown. Make use of these riches for the advantage of Rome, of the Emperor and yourself.'
Doubtless, had the prefect's mind been at all disposed to receive an instructive lesson, he had met with one here. The liberality of Christians in maintaining a great number of objects and looking for no recompense for that which shall take place at the resurrection of the just while they patiently bore affliction and rested humbly on an unseen Savior, was perfectly agreeable to the mind of Him who bids His disciples in a well-known parable, to relieve those who cannot recompense them. And glorious was the scene, at a time that the rest of the world was tearing one another in pieces, and philosophers aided not the miseries of men in the least, but as the persecutors would not hear the doctrines explained so neither would they see the precepts exemplified with patience.
'Do you mock me!' cries the prefect, 'I know you value yourself for contending death and therefore you shall not die at once!' Then he caused him to be stripped, extended and fastened to a gridiron and in that manner be broiled to death by a slow fire. When he had continued a considerable time on one side, he said to the prefect, 'Let me be turned, I am sufficiently broiled on one side.' And when they had turned him, he said, 'It is enough, you may eat.' Then looking up to heaven, he prayed for the conversion of Rome and gave up the ghost.”

There are countless stories of the bravery of believers in the face of torture and death. The one above made me think of Paul's passage in 1 Corinthians 1:27-29

“But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.”
Believers now boast of their great knowledge and understanding of Scriptures, but have lost so much of their fire... or maybe I'm the only one. I don't wish to be one of those that moan at the state of things in their generation, because the last thing I wish to be is a cliché. I think I am sad for myself mainly. I feel ashamed that believers with little to no comfort, little to no knowledge concerning the Scriptures, have believed this Gospel to the point where they beted their very lives on it. I can barely drag my feet and consider it a trial that someone offends me with their words...

Lord, You who knows all things, who sees all things, my precious Jesus, my only hope, You are worthy of all my loyalty and obedience. You're worthy of a wholehearted resolve not just scraps from me... Forgive me, for my stinginess, my generous Lord. I'm slow to learn and slower still to practice, but increase Your grace for me and help me see. Don't let me delude myself that I am good enough... Lord, You're worth my all. I want to make so many promises, but you know my fickle heart will stumble and be distracted by something else in a matter of minutes. But, You, recorder of my tears and prayers, record that it is not all the same to me whether You're pleased with me or not. You know all things, You know I love You, Lord. Help me...

by Cristina Pop

Salvation is from The Lord

My sister and I have this little tradition where every Monday, we take Monty, we go for a walk and we vent. About anything and everything under the sun. Today she was trying to let me speak at my own pace because she could tell I was struggling to articulate things. And let me tell you, if I ever have problems to put into words whatever is bothering me, it means that my brain is fried. So we kept on walking and suddenly I just felt it burst out of me, 'I feel like Gideon!' like of course that made perfect sense. My sister, bless her soul, nothing fazes her when it comes to me but I felt the need to elaborate a little. 'I sow and work the ground and come harvest time Midian keeps coming and stealing everything I have. Now I'm like Gideon reduced to threshing wheat in a wine press to hide it from the Midianites. And I'm tired of things always being taken from me!' Apparently I don't know how to vent like a normal person, yet my sister tried her best to reason with me and give me a more balanced perspective. I think it worked, but I got stuck on Gideon.
Judges 6. As per usual, Israel doesn't obey God, and He gives them up into the hands of Midian. The Midianites treat them so harshly that the children of Israel run every time to hide into the mountains and the caves. Everything that the Israelites worked for was robbed, stolen or destroyed. They remember they belong to God, and they call out to Him to help them and God sends them a prophet to let them know their transgression, without any promise for salvation (Judges 6:8-10). Then God Himself goes to find them a hero. He finds Gideon. “Now the angel of the LORD came and sat under the terebinth at Oprah, which belonged to Joash the Abiezrite, while his son Gideon was beating out wheat in the wine press to hide it from the Midianites.” (Judges 6:11) I don't know how long the angel sat there watching Gideon but suddenly he makes himself known and greets the hero, “The LORD is with you, O mighty man of valor.” (Judges 6:12) Gideon is in a fowl mood. “And Gideon said to him, “Please, my lord, if the LORD is with us, why then has all this happened to us? And where are all his wonderful deeds that our fathers recounted to us, saying, ‘Did not the LORD bring us up from Egypt?’ But now the LORD has forsaken us and given us into the hand of Midian.” (Judges 6:13)
Only someone that has spent an entire lifetime working on himself can understand Gideon's frustration. You spend years and years sowing The Word of God into yourself, developing every little part of yourself and try to turn every flaw into a quality only to have 'Midianites' come every time you're about to enjoy a harvest and steal all your hard work and leave you empty-handed and confused, 'what just happened? Wait, is God even with me? If so why doesn't He send help?' And it builds and builds until you get to a point that surpasses anger and goes straight into reckless rebellion. God Himself could stand before you and you still wouldn't guard your tongue. I wouldn't advice that course of action but it's certainly understandable. Gideon had just about enough, so he doesn't feel wise or cautious. He's rude and in danger of being evaporated where he stands, but he's tired of being scared, so he speaks his mind. Instead of seeing offense in Gideon's words, the angel sees fuel for God's purpose. And the LORD turned to him and said, “Go in this might of yours and save Israel from the hand of Midian; do not I send you?” And he said to him, “Please, Lord, how can I save Israel? Behold, my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house.” (Judges 6:14-15)
I love God's sense of humor. I mean only He can find the most disillusioned human in Israel, who's also a coward with an attitude, who probably needs saving more than anybody else and tells him, 'with this might of yours, go save Israel'. And against all odds, Gideon goes and does just that.
My lesson from this story? Nobody is coming to save you. You can grumble all you like at the injustice of things. You can be disenchanted with God for not doing something for you until you're blue in the face. You can hate the Midianites and vow 'this is the last time they steal from me!' and then go and think of ways how to hide your supplies. You can continue to be small in your own eyes and in the eyes of everyone around you while your ego can defy God Himself. Nobody is coming to save you. You're it. Take that anger and whatever bitterness drives you and burn it down. If it refuses to burn pray until it ignites or find a sister to vent to. That can do wonders. You're the hero disguised as a coward into your own life movie. Even if you're a coward like Gideon who feared people so much that he destroyed their idols at night, so they wouldn't know it was him, you can still save yourself. If you have time and energy to spend on meditating on the injustice of your situation, you have the time and energy to follow after God and let Him guide you into your salvation. (I am not talking about salvation from sin, just in case that needs clarifying.)

By Cristina Pop