Shameless

 Shame can be useful in society. It is shame, more often than not, that stops us from breaking certain community norms that we all adhere to. It is the fear of other people’s judgement that puts a halt on us breaking the norms, but that is the only good thing I have to say about it. What I hate is when that shame sips into the most inner creases of my soul and prevents me to grow, to progress.
I hate shame. It is a consequence of sin and it’s an awful one. I hate what it does to our soul, to our relationship with God, to our relationships with one another.
Carl Jung said, “Shame is a soul eating emotion.” Jung, being the father of analytical psychology kind of knew what he was saying with that remark. Shame is at the root of most of bad attitudes and choices. Ii is shame that makes us overcompensate and act self-righteous. It is shame that makes us condemn people in an attempt to hide our own flaws by drawing attention to other people’s shortcomings, and we forget that if we speak ill of anyone it says more bad things about ourselves than the people we besmirch with our words. It is shame that makes us overcompensate when we show off with whatever we’re ‘proud’ of, because we want to cover our nakedness, blindness and poverty.
When God created humans, they were naked, and they were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:25) More than their physical forms being unclothed, I think it also talks about a lack of shame regarding their own shortcomings. It was an innocent state of being that didn’t allow them to see in the vast difference between God’s greatness and man’s insignificance a reason for man to cower and hide. Man didn’t think twice about the fact that God wanted to spend time with him and talk to him. It was a given. Yet, the moment their eyes were opened, shame came in. It screamed in Adam’s face, ‘you are unworthy! You are naked! Hide!’ Adam didn’t question it for a second. He had been naked before he was ashamed. It never made God turn His face away from Adam. But the moment shame came in it convinced Adam that his nakedness was the reason why God would never want to be near him. He was ashamed. That’s the moment he died. Not in a physical way but in his relationship with God. So Adam did what all the sons of Adam have done since: he hid. A false attempt to protect God’s gaze. That’s what I hate most about sin. It brings about shame and it makes us want to stay away from God, run away from Him. The sin of running away and hiding is greater than whatever we did to make us want to run in the first place. I don’t want to sin purposefully not because I think I’m holier than thou, but because I never want to feel that shame that would convince me it is a good idea to stay away from God. If I happen to sin, I will take responsibility for my actions and still throw myself into the grace of God. I am shameless that way. I don’t lie to myself that I’ll stay away and let my soul fester with guilt and do 10 hail Mary’s and 50 lashes of self flagellation, 40 days of fasting, and pilgrimage to a holy site and then when I’ll feel better about myself I’ll feel worthy enough to face Him. Ridiculous! I could never do anything to fix my sin. Even if I’d live 10 lives from now on and in all of them I’ll be some Mother Theresa version. Nothing but His blood can fix my sin. So me staying away has absolutely no good reason behind it other than pride. He’s the only one that can help. I’ll run to Him not from Him!
“It is thy destruction, O Israel, That thou art against Me, against thy help.” (Hosea 13:9)
You’re doing God no favor by staying away! He knows you’re naked. You’ve always been naked even when you thought all was great between you and God. Hiding now that you’ve messed up is ridiculous! Tell shame, “I am a man, not a worm! I have sinned. I deserve punishment! But I will not hide. I’ll face my God and hope for His mercy. Even if I receive judgement, I’ll receive it with a grateful heart, because I am a man, not a worm. I’ll honor Him at least with that -- I will not run away but run to Him!”
When Jesus was preparing for His death, His disciples all told Him “we will follow You to the death!” Peter especially was very vocal about it. But Jesus said, “I have prayed for you that your own faith may not fail. When you have come back, you must strengthen your brothers." (Luke 22:32) Jesus knew the power of shame. He knew Peter will run away after failing, and Peter didn’t disappoint. “But when you turn back, when you do all your 10 hail Mary’s and whatever else and you’ll forgive yourself, strengthen your brothers.” I love how Jesus doesn’t even sugar coat it for us. You’ll fail. You’ll run, but when you come back, strengthen your brothers.
I don’t want to be like Peter. I’ll give him a big hug when I see him in heaven, but that’s not my model when it comes to shame. No. When I get to heaven I will go and embrace and thank the thief on the cross next to Jesus. He’s my model when it comes to shame.
Faith is the hand with which we reach out to get a hold of Jesus’ heart. Shame kills faith. If ever there was anyone that should have never dared to believe, that was a thief on the cross. But this man, good golly! Absolutely shameless! And what faith! It makes me cry every time I think about it. At a time when even those that have admired Jesus most, left Him. In His darkest hour when He looked like He couldn’t even save Himself, when maybe He felt discouraged because, where were they? Those that professed to love Him and admired Him and called Him Lord, where were they? Those that have seen Him in His glory, abandoned Him in His humiliation.

At a moment when He was taking upon Himself the shame of the whole world, there was a first fruit of Jesus’ toil. A thief, unworthy in every possible way, looks at this bloodied man next to Him and sees salvation. His disciples, looking upon this display thought ‘we thought He might be our salvation, but maybe we were wrong’ (Luke 24:21) Jesus looked that pitiful in everyone’s eyes. Except for the one thief crucified next to Him. He saw One that could save. He knew he might and for good reason be rejected. Shame must have screamed in his ears, ‘it’s too late for you!’ but he had faith enough to look at the bloody man dying next to him and utter the words that brought his salvation, “Jesus, remember me when You come into Your kingdom!” (Luke 23:42) Absolutely shameless! That’s my role model, right there! I want to believe to the degree where even if the whole world will see nothing but weakness in my Lord, I’ll look at Him as one able to save, even me. Even at my worst. I want to never let shame bring me into a mental space where I would ever reason myself out of hoping for His grace... even if it would seem too late. "Truly I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise." (Luke 23:43) Shame didn’t stop the thief on the cross. It had good grounds to attack his faith. But he believed in spite of it. The first human who trully defeated shame. And Jesus loved him for it.

 Lord, don’t ever let me go beyond Your reach. Don’t ever let me think hiding from You is a good idea. Even if I fall 1000 times. One billion times. Help me believe in the power to save more than in my power to fail. Don’t ever let me imagine that my sin is greater than Your grace! Help me walk humbly with You, faithfully, diligently, lovingly, hopefully, trusting that The One who said to my heart ‘come follow me’ is fully aware He called a flawed woman. In return, I can’t promise I’ll be perfect, but Lord I’ll be shameless! I’ll tell whoever has ears You’re worth following. I am grateful Lord, oh so grateful! You’ll never hear the end of it!

by Cristina Pop