Cherished

 

I need things to make sense to me so that I can have mental clarity. I expect that once I figured something out, then there will be no surprises. I hate surprises. If it’s an object, I read the instructions, if it’s a person I learn their language, if it’s an animal, I study its behavior until I can communicate. I don’t expect the coffee machine to cook, I don’t expect people to act beyond their capacity and I most certainly don’t expect my dog to levitate.  

When it comes to God, all that flies out the window. Read all you want, study His word, eat it, there will still be moments in your life when everything you know or think you know about God will leave you dumb and rocking yourself in a corner. If you reduce your whole world view to some law of attraction type of deal, then you’ll be sorely disappointed. If you think that everything is some quid pro quo, you do good and good will come your way and you do bad and bad will come your way, then you’re in for a surprise. Many times, you’ll do good and receive evil in return, unfairly and frustratingly, but it will happen. The same way you’ll
see wicked, evil people prosper and in defiance of everything you think you know. And you can scream with Ecclesiastes, ‘meaningless! Meaningless! All is meaningless!’ or you can allow room for exceptions.

Maybe because of my past experiences, I’ve learned not to be surprised at the bad. I’ve had my world torn apart enough times to almost expect it as a given. I stood before enough graves and on enough heaps of dung like Job mumbling to God, “Do not condemn me; let me know why you contend against me.” (Job 10:2) Only He never came to answer me, from a storm or otherwise. All that changes nothing, but my point is, pain and suffering make sense to me because of the world that we live in. What doesn’t make sense to me at all is God’s kindness and mercy. That throws me off every time.

An omnipotent Being, omnipresent and omniscient, defied by His own creatures. To me that’s mind-boggling. Why? Because when you have the ability to erase something out of existence with a mere thought their very existence proves His love. That unless there’s kindness directed towards said creatures, they would simply cease to exist. He wouldn’t have to go though the trouble of putting a gun to my head, it would be enough to stop thinking of me with love and it would be like I never existed. So no, He doesn’t just suffer me, He thinks of me with kindness. And I can accept that as long as I think I’m useful to Him. Like of course He’s pleased with me when I am obedient but as soon as I think I’ve disappointed Him, I expect distance. Punishment. That’s not as a result of anything He’s done, it’s the way this world has conditioned me to react. At a rational level I understand that a car crash doesn’t happen because I missed Church on Sunday, cancer doesn’t happen because I fail to have a prayer routine and mothers don’t die because I skipped a devotional, but at an emotional level you still pick holes in your soul to blame yourself for things outside your control. The enemy is sneaky like that. I still have a billion unknowns about God, but I know God is not like that. Then one might ask, then what is He like? I’ll tell you: LOVE. He’s more, much more than that, but He’s not less. Everything He does and thinks is moved by that.

When Adam and Eve were rebelling in the garden and instead of crying their sin, they were more concerned to hide their shame, God made them clothes so they wouldn’t feel naked in His presence (Genesis 3:21). When Cain killed his brother Abel and tried to hide it and then complained about his harsh sentence, God gave Him a sign to protect him (Genesis 4:15). When humanity defiled itself so much that it grieved God to His heart (Genesis 6:6) He provided a way for salvation in the form of an ark. When Abraham was busy lying to Abimelech and endangering his whole household, God was calling Abraham His prophet (Genesis 20:7). When Jacob was shaking with fear of his brother whom he had deceived and cheated, God met with Jacob, wrestled him out of his fear, then blessed him (Genesis 32). While Aharon was making a golden calf for the people of Israel to worship instead of God who took them out of Egypt, God was in the process of giving Moses instruction about Aharon’s priestly garments that he would later wear (Exodus 28:2-4). While Moses forfeited his right to enter the promised land, God still showed it to him from afar (Deuteronomy 32:49-52). While Israel was sinning against God, God was busy preparing judges for them to save them from their enemies. When Samson betrayed his vow to God and got shaven and lost all his power, God made his hair grow back (Judges 16:22). When the army of Israel was cowering in fear before the Philistines and their giant champion, God sent them a boy to crush his head with a river stone and a sling (1 Samuel 17:50) I could go on and on about God’s heart in the face of human failure but none would speak more than what happened at the cross, “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) While we were still in rebellion, while we hated Him and wanted nothing to do with Him. Not when we cleaned up our act, not when we merited atonement, not when we were obedient. While we were busy making our idols and worshiping everything and anything else (Isaiah 44:9-20), He was loving us, “Remember these things, O Jacob, and Israel, for you are my servant; I formed you; you are my servant; O Israel, you will not be forgotten by me. I have blotted out your transgressions like a cloud and your sins like mist; return to me, for I have redeemed you.” (Isaiah 44:21-22)

“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:31-39)

by Cristina Pop