Have you ever stood before something so foreign to you and so huge that your mind simply refuses to wrap itself around whatever it is you're facing? So obscure and alien that you can't even define it for you haven't been able to give it a name? Well, I am standing before something like that as we speak. In fact, it is something so big that I haven't found the voice to grunt about it let alone to put it in words. Two nights ago, while I was trying to pray about it, I told The Lord, 'I don't know how to pray about it, it's just in my path and I am stuck and will continue to be stuck. I don't know how to articulate it and I feel small and stupid standing before it. I tried telling it to move but it won't budge... I have faith, but it won't budge, so please help me!'
The earth didn't move and I didn't hear anything, but I had an image in my mind of Joshua and the battle of Jericho. I am scared like Joshua was. He was a warrior but he was scared. A paradox if there was ever one. He fought for God during the time of Moses and won pretty much every single time. He was an able man. But he was scared. Obviously not of battle, but of the shadow of Moses, the shoes he was meant to walk in. God has to go to him and tell him, 'be strong and courageous!' (Joshua 1:6,9) And Joshua decides to trust The One that commands him.
He arrives at Jericho and this thing seems impossible. Never mind they had just crossed the river Jordan in a miraculous way, but he was used to miracles. He passed through the dead sea. He ate manna from heaven for 40 years. He had heard God and saw everything God had done for Israel in the wilderness. But a city like that he was supposed to take over? I mean, look at those walls! Israel lived in tents. Those that had crossed the Jordan had never even seen houses! (Joshua and Caleb excluded) They were as uncivilized as only a nomadic people can be. And now they stood before a civilization that was more sophisticated than anything they've seen. They knew war, but in an open field! How does one even fight with something you have no name for. I can only imagine the Israelites gaping before those walls. But Joshua looked up, or lifted his eyes but not towards Jericho. No. He lifted his eyes, much like Abraham once did at the oaks of Mamre, and he saw 'a man was standing before him with his drawn sword in his hand.' Joshua is a good leader. He takes one look at this 'man' and he knows immediately he's not one of his men. 'And Joshua went to him and said to him, “Are you for us, or for our adversaries?” (Joshua 5:13)
That is a sentiment I carry often when I sit there confused. Whenever I need help because I'm stuck and there's no strategy in sight and I can barely remember all my principles of faith, I look up. Not because I'm that spiritual and I need you, my dear reader to be in awe of that fact. But because that's where I look when I exhaust every other alternative. And God has never let me down. He has come through every time, and I am sad to report that none of those times did I recognize Him immediately. I'm, more often than not, like the two disciples on the road to Emmaus. I walk with Him and talk to Him and as familiar as He seems, I can't recognize Him. And in my defense I'll need to point out that He never shows up waving a white flag. That would make things a lot clearer. He always shows up sword drawn and my first instinct is: that's an enemy! But I've learned to ask, 'are you on my side, or on my enemy's side?'
“And he said, “No; but I am the commander of the army of the LORD. Now I have come.” And Joshua fell on his face to the earth and worshiped and said to him, “What does my lord say to his servant?” (Joshua 5:14)
No. You've got it all wrong! This is My fight, not yours. You are but one division in this army I lead. I fight this war, now let Me tell you what your part will be in My fight.
Not every battle I fight is His battle. I wish I'd be that discerning to only fight His wars. Sadly I fight my own battles and sometimes with those that are His people! And then I want Him to choose sides. I'll let you in on a little secret: He NEVER does. He has a plan to fulfill. He leads an army. I am just one part of that army. It's His battle. He's not pleased with silly squabbles between those in His army. Arguments over whether one should clean his sword after every blow, or concerns about the states of one's shoes or belt or helmet that can make two of His own come to blows, are idiotic at best and damnable at worst. No, He's not picking sides for my gain. He has a plan and I am but a piece of the puzzle. It's His Kingdom that He's concerned with, not my own.
I could carry on on the subject forever, but I am more interested in this post I am writing in the strategy God gives Joshua. He tells him to circle the city for six days, once, silently. He appoints seven priests, each carrying a ram's horn to go before the ark of The Lord and sound the shofar once. But on the seventh day he asks them to circle the city seven times and to blow the shofar and on the last long sound, the whole army should shout as loud as they can and the walls will fall down. (Joshua 6) Needless to say they do as instructed and the walls fall down and they conquer the city.
I don't have their faith.
While I circle my fortress I worry that I will shout and nothing will
happen. I'll look even more of a fool than I already do. But even as
I worry, He knows I'll shout. Not because I have gained faith in the
six days or years that it took me to circle this thing, but because
He's worth my embarrassment. There's benefit in being a fool for
Christ. People expect nothing
less. But my hope is not in my great shout,
but in His ability to win. My voice can break in the process of
cheering for Him, but cheering I will!
by Cristina Pop
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