There have been times in my life when I felt disappointed with God. Unmet expectations, unfulfilled dreams, unanswered prayers can break one's spirit and regardless how much I didn't like the idea of being like everybody else, those things broke my spirit too. I used to mope around for weeks mourning the loss of some unfulfilled desire. I used to tell God, 'I don't want to talk to you right now, the best I can do is sit here and be silent. I am angry with you, I feel disappointed and no explanation You might have right now can take that away. So I'll be silent. You don't get to see me pouring out my soul before You when I know that all it would have taken was a thought from You in my direction and things would have changed. So, no. No words.' Miserable soul that I was I thought that I was punishing God with my silent treatment.
It took me about a decade of similar episodes to change the way I thought and by that let it be understood that it hasn't been an immediate thing. I think I've said before and I cannot stress this enough, I am a very slow learner.
One day I was reading in Matthew chapter 4, about Jesus' temptation. It's not that I haven't read it before, in fact I did studies on it, wrote on it, thought I knew it by heart. But for the first time I finally understood something that should have been clear from the very beginning.
Christ's kingdom was not of this world, is not of this world and will never be of this world. That this King I willingly chose to rule over me, didn't have worldly ambitions for Himself or for His beloved children. Before He began acting like the promised Messiah, He has been tested. Tempted in every little thing like a mere mortal and the temptation was always this: look for the easy way out. God cannot want suffering for His beloved. Say the word and make Your discomfort, pain, frustration, go away. Use Your authority for Your own gain. Use Your position as God's Son and command it to be over, command it into existence. It's not like it isn't Your right after all. It's not like it's wrong. Claim it! God wants good things for You, it's insane to endure any discomfort, pray it away! Declare it away! It's Your right.
It would have been so easy. But then all He would have accomplished was to teach us all that that's the way. And that is so not the way. He refused immediate relief over a lasting purpose. He refused immediate comfort over obedience to The Father. “And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.“ (Philippians 2:8)
His kingdom was never, is not and will never be of this world. Whenever I rebel against Him because I didn't get something that was 'rightfully' mine to receive, I miss the whole point of whatever He is doing and what I am supposed to be doing. Am I saying you shouldn't want for things? That you shouldn't pray for things? Absolutely not! Pray, ask and ask again, but “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus: who, as He already existed in the form of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but emptied Himself by taking the form of a bond-servant and being born in the likeness of men.” (Philippians 2:5-7)
If you are in a waiting season, wait with hope. If you are in a 'no' season, then submit to His will and don't be as foolish as I used to be by rebelling. You will not win. Learn from The Son how to approach The Father in submission and humility.
by Cristina Pop
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