Fire

 

I wrote previously about the allegory of the cave. We don't live in an actual cave. I am aware of that. But we are extremely limited in our understanding of what IS and what IS NOT.

If you are a person of faith you understand your own imperfection and limitations from God's perspective, as St. Paul puts it, “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.” ( 1 Cor. 13:12)

If you are a person that only takes scientific proof as guiding lights, surely you must acknowledge that we are still extremely limited in our understanding of how the Universe works or even the earth for that matter because we simply haven't been able to go far enough into space or deep enough into the crust of the earth. But we have theories. Thus the allegory of the cave is fitting.

So how must one go about acquiring wisdom in such conditions and how does one know that it is truly wisdom that which he stumbles upon in his pursuit? A lot of things might sound good and important to heed but they have absolutely no substance. The answer is: you don't know. Not for a fact such as a mathematical truth. But as far as I've seen, now keep in mind I only have a mediocre mind, we seem to have inside us some moral innate truths that if followed can guide us. I know that this moral guide inside humans pings differently from culture to culture, from upbringing to upbringing, but at the core of things we all seem to know that killing another human being is wrong, that envy and strife is detrimental, that greed is to be despised and we seem to respond best to kindness unless there is some serious mental illness involved. If morality differs from culture to culture, then so is wisdom. What passed for wisdom for an ancient person is different than what passes for wisdom to the modern man. What passes for wisdom in Uzbekistan is different to what passes for wisdom in Australia. What passes for wisdom to a Muslim is different than for an atheist even if they happen to live on the same street. What passes for wisdom for a social media influencer on a mission to teach us all how to apply make-up perfectly is different than what passes for wisdom for a Harvard professor. What is wisdom to a child is different than what is wisdom to a parent. What is wisdom to a mediocre mind is different than wisdom to a genius. But even so, there are certain core values we all seem to recognize whenever it is being pointed out to us.

I should amend that. We can all recognize wisdom as long as we are ignorant of the source. Because a devout Christian can never, in good conscience, admit that he has found wisdom in the Quran. A good Jew could never admit to finding wisdom in the teachings of Jesus. A good Muslim could never admit to find wisdom in Bhagavad Gita and a good atheist could never admit to find any wisdom in any religion. A professional body-builder can never find any wisdom whatsoever in anything a morbidly obese person has to say. But if one was to hear wise words spoken, especially if they seem to align with some of his own convictions and he was ignorant of their source, they would immediately recognize wisdom for what it is. If foolish pride and ignorance wouldn't prevent us from seeing wisdom for what it is regardless of its source, we might outgrow ourselves. Even I might learn.

So how can one find wisdom in the cave if one hasn't been outside the cave and will never most likely go out of the cave? The only answer I was able to find is that one needs to reach the outside from his own inside.

When one is contemplating the idea that one is living inside a cave and he has reached that conclusion either by hearing someone talking about it or he himself has started doubting the shadows on the wall, one mustn't hurry to take whatever falls at his feet as truth and turn it into building stones to create his inner world with. Take everything you hear or read or see and make a pyre with it and use it as kindle for the fire that is sure to come and set it ablaze. What fire? The kind of fire that one doesn't need to go look for. It is the kind of fire that comes whether you wish for it or not. It is the fire that burns down one's world when faced with pain or suffering or trials of such magnitude that it tilts the very axis of your world and leaves such an impact on your soul that every notion and theory you hung on to so far, flies out the window. Prepare for that day as much as you like. Become an expert and even a teacher about what to do in case of fire, it will still catch you off-guard and helpless. Or maybe it happens only to mediocre minds like mine. Maybe a stronger soul is fire-proof. I confess I do not know. But I take heart having learned from history that people whom I regard as great, have been left speechless in front of the fire once it came. Michelangelo, Boccaccio, Sir Francis Bacon, Voltaire, Rousseau, Napoleon, Washington, and even the greatest man of all Jesus, in his darkest hour began to think God has forsaken him.

When faced with the fire all you can do is let it burn. Don't try to fight it or declare that the fire isn't there. Let it burn. Cry if you have to, be silent if that's your character, scream and even rebel if you must only don't think that the fire only happens to you and don't turn into a victim. The fire comes to everybody regardless of how pretty or ugly, regardless of how rich or poor, regardless of how smart or stupid. The fire doesn't have favorites or enemies. Accept that it comes and all you can do, even if you're a control freak like me, is watch it burn. Be mindful of an old wisdom that says: “If anyone builds (...) using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work.” (1 Corinthians 3:12-13). So take heart knowing that whatever you have built so far, if indeed precious, it will not perish.

You might be left digging through the ashes for a long time to find whatever has survived the fire, but once you find it, then and only then, you can use it to incorporate it into the buildings of your inner world.

I have watched my cherished beliefs go up in flames many times. Things I held as truths and taught them to others as truths only to find that when the fire came those were the first things to burn. And it is hard to watch the fire consume everything in its path, especially when you're the kind of person that needs to fight back in some way. But after many fires and failed attempts to extinguish said fire, all I can conclude is that there is no point in even trying to fight it. The only good thing you can do in advance is to not incorporate untested notions into your inner structure because it might burn your inner world to ashes.

 Whether the things you gather are motivational quotes to get you to move, or positive affirmations in the attempt to control the outside world in your favor, or prayers to whatever deity you pray to, or a pragmatic philosophy that has convinced you to think that you are above mere mediocre minds and nothing emotional can touch you, just wait until the fire comes. Once everything burns, whatever you're left with: that is your truth. It's useless to lie to yourself that whatever has burned to ashes is still real if you would just believe harder, focus deeper or think clearer. All you can do is admit that after being tested, your truth was a lie and move on. Bury it if you must, mourn its passing if it will bring you comfort but don't just stand there trying to resurrect ashes. I might have just a mediocre mind but believe me when I say you can lose precious years of your life trying to make it work just because your cinder is a building block for somebody else. You can use that time trying to find another type of brick. And those might burn as well. All you can do is search and don't be prejudiced in your pursuit. Learn as much as you can from whomever you can. Find your truth and stick to it even if it's cinder to a million people. And most importantly do not fall in love with your own conclusions. Leave room for growth or improvement. Keep in mind that whatever you think you know for a fact now is not complete. There is always room to grow and improve and growth is the only sign you are alive.

I used to be really certain about every carefully crafted theory and I despised anyone that doubted their truth. But fire, that blessed monster of destruction, has revealed to me that Voltaire was right. “Doubt is an uncomfortable condition, but certainty is a ridiculous one.”

Whenever people have been certain of anything starting with wars, or science, racism or religious persecution, the result was another stain on humanity that nothing will wash away. I would rather say that I try to form an educated guess based on what I conceive as facts and I always assume a risk of being wrong, but I take responsibility that I have made my choice. I, myself. Not a divine voice in my ear, not my spotless ability to count my losses, not my scientific proof. I choose. Sometimes biasly, sometimes irreverently, sometimes stupid and sometimes lucky guess, but it is always my choice. I cannot blame God, or science, or other people for anything I do. I try to learn so that I reduce the number of mistakes I make every given day, but I know that my reasoning can only go so far.

I hate the fire. I hate its heat, its smell, its destruction and my useless pleas in its path. I cannot stop it from burning but I can learn to choose better what I gather within me and at least not feed it my possessions or God forbid, my very self.

I hate the fire most because it always forces me to change. And change? Well, I hate change almost as much as the fire.

by Cristina Pop