Until we meet again

 

“When I don’t know what else to do, I sing to The Lord.” That’s what my grandmother always used to say. I don’t even have to close my eyes to see her in a memory, sometimes content, sometimes choked with tears, working or meditating, always singing. Last night I was trying to fall asleep, and I just had this vivid memory of us working in the field. I was just a child, and she was quite a way in front of me with her task. I remember how uncomfortable it all was, the sun scorching hot, and I had a rebellious moment when I wanted to be anywhere else and then I looked at her. She was singing a song I’ve heard her sing a million times and she had this look on her face as if she was somewhere else, at peace and happy. I didn’t understand where she was when she had that faraway look on her face, but I remember thinking that I’d follow her to wherever she was going. When I was little, I was jealous of her God that always had all her attention. Part of me loved Him because I knew He had her heart, and I wanted to be part of that too. I wanted to be able to sing to Him like she did. She had this hymnal she opened every morning and evening after finishing reading her Scripture and she was singing from it. I got jealous one day so while she knelt down to pray, I took the hymnal and scribbled in it. For no other reason other than I wanted a part of me in her treasured possession. Of course, I got punished but for the rest of my life, whenever she opened the book she reminded me, at first resentful and then smiling, “see, this is your doing”. In 2015, while visiting her, she said the same thing to me, so I took a pen and I said, ‘write down that you’re leaving me this book and your Bible’ she laughed thinking I was joking, but then proceeded to fulfil my request. She said, ‘you don’t even like the old hymns’

, I said, ‘I love you; I don’t need to love the songs. I love the one that sings them’.  On the 10^th of September, last year, she died. I lost both my parents 2 years apart but losing her made me feel well and truly orphan in this world. Maybe one day I’ll be able to talk about her without feeling like my raw skin is being pulled over broken glass. I confess I’m not there yet. Anyway, last night, while pondering what to do with all these feelings inside me, I remembered her singing. I’ve began listening to a song and it helped. I’m not mourning as those that have no hope, I know she went to be with The Lord, and I know I’ll see her again, I just dread all the time in between now and then.

 

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." - Revelation 21:4

I love my King

 

“Then Satan answered the LORD and said, “Does Job fear God for no reason?” – Job 1:9

I’ve had this question in my heart for months now. Not about Job, but about myself. Do I revere God for no reason? I want things to go well with me and with those I love, I want to be blessed, I want all positive and amazing things for myself, I’d like to go through life with as little pain as possible. Do I really love Him or do I want things from Him?

 Satan was right about Job, and he is right about me when he waltzes in all gleeful, declaring that my loyalty is not unconditional. I suppose he’s been observing us for long enough to know which way our hearts incline. Fact: Job wasn’t serving God unconditionally. By pointing it out to God, he wasn’t informing God of something God wasn’t aware of. So why the testing? Why did God allow Job to be stretched past the point of breaking? I suspect to teach Satan and all the heavenly court a lesson. That when a human is in love with God, that human will question, will reach all sorts of unjust conclusions concerning God, he will demand a day in court, he will rage, he will tear himself apart in searching for the ‘why’ in a particular situation, will demand a different outcome and when all words will fail said human might even grow numb, but love for his Master will never allow him to walk away.

Satan thinks we’re worthless. Self-serving, manipulative, corrupted to our very core. He sees us as worms, “how much less man, who is a maggot, and the son of man, who is a worm!” (Job 25:6) Not so with God. When The Lord, finally shows up on the scene in Job’s reality, this broken man, despised by friends and foes alike, almost convinced himself he is indeed nothing but a worm, he is challenged by God, “Now prepare yourself LIKE A MAN; I will question you, and you shall answer Me.” (Job 38:3) Not like an angel, not like a giant, like a MAN. God knows the value of a human and I don’t blame Satan for not seeing it, he’s just a creature not God.

Nothing has changed since Job. Satan is predictable like that. He hates us too much to see the value that God insists is there. He did the same with Jesus’ disciples. At the last supper, Jesus informs Peter, “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” (Luke 22:31-32) Oblivious, Peter makes all kinds of promises that he will break and so do the others. He talks about his hour and they’re looking for swords and they reach the most ridiculous conclusion in the history of humankind that with two swords they’ll overthrow an empire and enthrone Jesus as King. And The King doesn’t laugh at their utter stupidity nor sets them straight although He sees He will be taken and all of them will run like scared children. He loves them. He took on flesh for them. No matter how much Satan is bent on revealing all their shortcomings, He’s not deterred. All hell, in one voice is yelling, “are these the ones you want to redeem? Look at them! Traitors all of them!” And Jesus resolutely looks ahead. No number of charges laid against the sheep will make this Shepherd turn away. Why? Because He knew even as Peter was cursing himself that he had never even seen Jesus, that Peter loved Him. Later, on a shore He’ll ask Peter, “do you love Me?” because Peter needed to remember he loves his Master and that The King believed it.

We might get tested, we might get bruised and almost snuffed out, but The King we serve doesn’t break off bruised reeds nor does He quench a smoking flax (Isaiah 42:3). Never let the despair of your own shortcomings convince you of Satan’s lies. Love has created you. Love came for you. Love died to give you new birth. Love keeps you and Love will wait for you when you reach home.

Some day my memories might fade. I might forget places and the steps I took to get to those places. I might forget names and faces. I might forget every verse I’ve memorised and every doctrine I’ve stood by. I might forget everything, but even then, I’ll remember that I love Him back and He believes me.

“For, “Yet a little while, and the coming one will come and will not delay; but my righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him.” (Hebrews 10:37-38)

by Cristina Pop

 

One of God's great champions

 

I’m sure people close to me are already tired of hearing me talk about Darlene Deibler. I have been completely spellbound by this woman and her story. Make no mistake, my only role model in this world is my Lord and Master, Jesus Christ, but sometimes, not often, you find a human so in love with Christ that it inspire you to consider nothing as precious in this world just for the sake of knowing Him deeper and in a truer than you would do while entrapped by all the comforts of this life.

 “I realized how little I knew of what makes a true missionary statesman; of a faith that never staggers at the promise of God, no matter how incredible to the natural man its fulfilment seems; of a trust in the Unchanging One, Who keeps the heart at rest and unperturbed in a changing world; of a burning love that counts not life dear unto itself, but is expendable for God; and of a vision that is never dimmed.” (Darlene Deibler Rose, Evidence Not Seen: A Woman's Miraculous Faith in the Jungles of World War II)

I wanted to write an entire blog about the many, many things I’ve learned from her, but I’ve decided to just let Darlene tell her story in her own words and I’m sure it will bless whoever will hear her.

“And what more shall I say? For time would fail me to tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets— who through faith conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. Women received back their dead by resurrection. Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life. Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated— of whom the world was not worthy—wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth. And all these, though commended through their faith, did not receive what was promised, since God had provided something better for us, that apart from us they should not be made perfect.” (Hebrews 11:32-40)